


Old Spice

by Baknami



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-26 09:26:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4999513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baknami/pseuds/Baknami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Papyrus wants to go for a jog, and Ambassador Frisk can't just say "no", can they?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Spice

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I think in here I refer to Papyrus as a Boss Monster even though I hadn't actually killed him at that point and didn't know he wasn't one. That's what I get for not *murdering everyone* before writing things, apparently. :V
> 
> So uh this isn't 100% canon sorry I guess whoops.

Frisk enjoyed spending time outside, and the various friends of the underground loved nothing more than joining the child on any friendly excursions. Sometimes, they would invite Frisk out on fun days out, and their friend couldn't very well say “no”! As an ambassador between Monsters and Humans, it was just proper etiquette, after all!

There was one time when Papyrus wanted to go out on a nice jog, and Frisk made sure to put on some good hiking boots so the two could run for a long time. Papyrus loved to feel the wind on his skin (Frisk couldn't believe a skeleton could even have skin, but Papyrus always kept talking about skin and hair as if he had them, which might have meant it was a ghost limb? ...Skeleton Monsters were weird...) and so the Boss Monster would happily run for hours at a time. Frisk had traveled for days in the underground before destroying the barrier, and afterwards, Undyne would spar with her friend and Papyrus would drag the child everywhere. It gave the Human tons of muscles to keep pace with a skeleton who could practically glide a few feet per bound, but Papyrus would usually run further than Frisk was willing to jog. Papyrus was a skeleton as well as a Boss, which meant that even a determined Human would eventually just stop forcing the issue and take a rest. It wasn't so bad to let the skeleton win in an endurance race, although letting him inflate his ego even further might not do when they went back to speak to the other diplomats.

Frisk didn't want to think about work for a while, and instead took a small nap on a park bench after nearly three hours of nonstop jogging. While his friend rested, Papyrus collected a few drinks from the store nearby. As the child chugged the water from the bottle (still lying down; it was easy to be determined enough to keep it from flowing down the wrong tube), Papyrus unscrewed the cap and began drinking as well. ...The water flowed straight through the skull and into his ribcage. Ahhh... what a waste... “Does that even help?” Frisk asked, looking at the Boss upside down.

“OF COURSE IT HELPS!!” Papyrus shouted, as he was wont to do. He gestured dramatically, his water bottle sloshing and spilling. Frisk continued to drink and watch the Boss as he explained, “THE WATER COOLS MY HEATED BONES, AND THEN IT...”

“But bones don't get hot. Not like skin,” Frisk interrupted, raising an arm and waving it about, “You don't really need it, do you?”

“I THINK I WOULD KNOW MORE ABOUT HOW SKELETONS WORK THAN A HUMAN WOULD, DEAR FRIEND FRISK,” Papyrus insisted, practically stamping his foot in impatience, “I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, MUST ALWAYS BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR...”

“You're just drinking it to be a good role model, aren't you?”

The Boss sagged his shoulders, thoroughly defeated. “SANS THOUGHT I WAS BEING A BAD INFLUENCE ON CHILDISH MONSTERS AND HUMANS.” Frisk nodded sagely, eyes still closed, but this time even moreso, in thought.

“Yeah, if someone saw you running for hours without a break, they might think they could do that too,” the child agreed. After sitting up, Frisk downed another large gulp and Papyrus sat down next to his friend, “I know some people who got into danger trying to follow their heroes around; it's best to show off some good habits for them to follow.” The two fell into an easy silence as they watched the park goers frolic, but Frisk could tell that Papyrus was getting antsy. “So uh... should we start heading home?”

“I SUPPOSE IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO GET SOME REST. YOU ARE SO WEAK AND SMALL, WE CANNOT LET YOU BE...”

Frisk had learned to tune out their friend when he got like this; Papyrus may have been a few hundred years old, but he had the emotional maturity of a child even younger than... well, *this* child. As a result, it was hard to tell if Papyrus understood his detrimental words might be taken the wrong way. Either way, there wasn't much point in getting him to stop, so Frisk watched the park goers until Papyrus began winding down his speech. When the child was certain Papyrus was nearing the end, they stood up and rubbed at their two aching legs with a hiss. “I thought they'd be feeling better.” Frisk could handle it when necessary, but it wasn't like anyone *wanted* to be in pain.

Frisk let out a small squeak when a pair of bony hands wrapped under a certain Human's armpits, and the child was lifted into the air easily. “VERY WELL, I SUPPOSE I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL BE THE ONE TO CARRY YOU HOME. DO NOT THANK ME; THERE IS NO NEED.”

Frisk would have been worried about resting on a literal pile of bones, but Papyrus' battle armor had some pretty nice shoulder pads. They were a little comfy, and the child had no qualms with resting against the Boss' skull and knocking legs against his “breastplate”. “Donk donk donk,” Frisk sang with the makeshift percussion.

“IT IS A WONDERFUL DAY OUT,” Papyrus said suddenly, causing Frisk to fight to keep from nodding off. “ON DAYS LIKE THIS I DON'T EVEN FORGET THAT THERE IS AN ACTUAL SUN.”

Frisk tried really hard not to look at the sunset; the child didn't want glasses, but it was a hard habit to quit since Sans and Papyrus sometimes had Sun Staring Contests (Sans would lose because he would eventually get bored and took a nap in the middle of it). “I guess I can understand,” the child murmured, thinking back on how easy it was to forget that night and day even existed after only a month in the underground. “It's really pretty though, isn't it...?” Frisk asked. ...The child suddenly sensed a strange smell. The Human took a breath through the nose. A deeper breath.

“WHAT IS THE MATTER FRISK?” Papyrus asked, sensing something amiss.

The Human pulled at the Boss' scarf and sniffed at it. “... ...Papyrus... Why does your scarf smell like Old Spice...?”

...The Brightly-Blushing-Papyrus refused to answer that.

**Author's Note:**

> "At least he washes [his outfit], and by wash, I mean he wears it in the shower".
> 
> I literally wrote this just for that joke at the end. The whole thing, for one joke. I'm really bad at this.
> 
> Bonus:  
> Friend: papyrus is the king of carrying this group B)B)B)  
> Baknami: Omfg Sans  
> Baknami: Sans no go away plz  
> Friend: Without his carries, we'd really be... boned  
> Baknami: Auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhh


End file.
